Happy Moment #31: 5 Minutes for the Next 50 Years of Your Life

I stumbled on this this speech (see video below) given by the actor Matthew McConaughey as a commencement speech at the University of Houston in 2015. I don't usually click on anything that has a "motivational" word in the title ("5 Minutes for the Next 50 Years of Your Life") but something about this made me click anyway.

McConaughey starts the video by saying that he is going to talk about lessons that he has learned in the "unfair life" that most of us humans experience. He asks us to think about what success means to us, what, in fact, makes us happy. He even notes that our answers can change over time but that we should always "prioritize ourselves." There is a lot here that I like when he talks about how to do this, especially the line "eliminate who you are not" when you are trying to figure out your life goals and aims.

Lately, I have struggled a lot with trying to figure out why I am on this planet, what it is that brings me joy, but this idea of "Defining ourselves by who we are not" gives me some hope to think about the easier questions perhaps -- how do I not define myself? What doesn't make me happy? What do I not want to waste my time doing in the time I have left?

For example, running used to make me happy. It kept the crazy away. But it doesn't do that anymore. I think even to some degree triathlons have been filling that void the last few years but I am not sure I am getting the same amount of joy. A lot of times training or events leave me drained, sad, and unsure of myself. But I also think that the problem has been that I constantly compare my times to what I have done before, an action that has slowly squeezed the joy out of doing the sport itself. I am getting slower. But recently, I have found the joy of pushing my body in Cyclebar classes which remind me of how much joy I get out of going a little bit beyond what I think I "can" do. At my core, I do like to be sweat and be active. And I love the people I have met through running and and triathlon-ing -- they bring out the best in me. If I am really honest with myself, I think I am way harder on me than they would ever be to me to my face if I complained or whined about being slower and older.

So, in short, I am trying to figure this stuff out. I don't think I will know all the answer by the time I hit 50 (and nor should I, perhaps) but I need to be active in asking these questions and figuring out who I am. I don't want to be complacent. I want to be active and "on."

Let me try one question as a way of ending this short blog post. So how do I not define myself? I am not lazy. I am not a bad friend. I am not someone who give up. I am not a terrible writer. I am not a bad person.