I'm How Old? Or ....Why I Started This Blog

I suppose one should always start at the beginning.

I was born on October 15, 1968, on an Army base in Washington state. I don't seem to own a lot of baby pictures that I can actually find (maybe in a box somewhere) but here I am a few years after that event:

It's a bit blurry but you get the idea. White girl. Army family. Younger brother about a year later.

I am sure your math skills have quickly figured out that this means on October 15, 2018, I will turn 50 years old. My 49th birthday is next week which means, of course, that I am about to enter my last year before turning "the big one." The big 5-0.

In some ways, turning 50 has snuck up on me. It truly doesn't seem that long ago that I was starting college as a freshman (with my spiky hair that stood on end for pretty much the entire 1980s) and now here I am teaching college students. I don't think I ever imagined myself as a 50 year old when I was an undergraduate. I don't think I ever even thought about growing old.

PS: You are possibly looking at the only picture taken of me as a college cheerleader (an activity I enjoyed for 2 years!). Yep. I am not sure if this surprises anyone! (that is me at the top of the picture, furthest from the camera -- Go Saints!)

It doesn't even seem that long ago that I was teaching (in what would become about 4 years all together) in Japan. Truth be told, that was from about 1991-1995. Some of the best years of my life, cliche aside.

After I returned from Japan, I ended up going to graduate school at Central Washington University, teaching for awhile in Washington, and then starting a PhD at the University of Southern Mississippi. Eventually, I accepted a position at SWIC which brought me new adventures (like sky diving! Here I am with my jump master getting a lesson before I did it!).

And as most folks know, I met Jim in 2002. I had always thought that I would live in St Louis for a few years and then make my way back to Washington. But ... I suppose things change when you fall in love.

I have now lived in St Louis for almost 20 years. I've made some amazing friends and I've been lucky enough to have a job that I truly love (most of the time!). I've lost people I adore to illness and accidents but I continue to meet amazing humans. I love being married. Before Jim, I never realized that the ideal was to be married to your best friend. I am. We have fabulous adventures and I don't think I could have gotten through breast cancer back in 2010 without him.

But growing older happens. We all know that. For years I have been making jokes about my creaky knees and my aching back. My eye sight is getting worse all the time as I work my up the numbers on the cheap reader glasses that you buy at Walgreens (I am in the land of 2.75 right now!).

A few months ago I realized that 50 was coming up fast. At about the same time, I was noticing that I wasn't sure how or where I saw the rest of my life going. Example: For many years I have been running and competing in triathlons and I wasn't even sure that THOSE made me happy anymore. My friend Lori even pointed out that in a race picture this past spring that I didn't "look" happy. She was right. I sure didn't. And that is where this idea for "50 for 50" was born.

I want to find 50 moments of happiness to look back on by the time I hit 50 years old. What makes me happy? What bring joy to me? If I can discover this knowledge about myself, I am pretty sure that I can take on the next decade of life and find even more ways to connect with people and to be kind. I don't know why this milestone strikes me personally as so symbolic but I know that I am not the only person on this planet who has gotten thoughtful about those numbers turning to a "5" and an "0."

In fact, this article from the Huffington Post gets pretty close to my thoughts about the whole idea of turning 50:

"Because for some reason, that is what 50 has now come to symbolize for me. If not now, when? It’s time to do what I want. Eat ice cream, stay up too late, ride a bike, move to a new country, lose 10 lbs, start a new adventure, run a marathon, climb a mountain, change a life, write a book, do what I want. This feeling starts small, and then leads to bigger life-changing questions. What is it really that I want to do with my life? What is my life about? What am I going to do with the rest of my life?"

So ... what am I going to do with the rest of my life? What do I want to do with the time I have left? I will use this blog to document 50 moments/ activities/ breathes that make me genuinely happy. I will be posting these blogs on the Facebook page I created for this "experiment" and I am even going to jump into the world of Instagram and try to capture some of these moments on film. And there is a hashtag -- my genius friend Jaime came up with the catchy phrase -- #50for50. In short, I hope this experiment of #50for50 will help others -- as well as me -- figure out what can make us happy and why it is so important that we identify these moments of joy.